What is the biggest goal in your life?
Do you want to become rich? Do you want to get recognised on the street, get fame? Or do you want to make this trip that you always dreamed of?
From my you will understand that I really like putting our minds to work and turn our thoughts into action.
Did you think of your answer? If your real, deep goal is to be healthy and live a happy life then you are lucky! Carry on reading and you will find out why!
The Greatest Research On Adult Life, Joy, And Health.
“What keeps us healthy and happy in our lives? If you had to invest now in your best future self, where would you focus your time and energy? “
Robert Waldinger’s speech “ What makes a good life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness” starts with these questions. In the longest-ever research on adulthood, Harvard studied the lives of 724 men for 75 years, from their teens to their elder years, to see what makes them happy and healthy.
By collecting information from their medical history, examining their blood samples, checking their brain activity, discussing with them, analysing any data they could within the thousands of information pages about these lives, the researchers came to a clear result:
Good relationships keep us happy and healthy.
More specifically, they found the following three major lessons for relationships :
- Social relationships are particularly good for people, while loneliness can be fatal. People who are more connected with their family, friends and society are happier, healthier, and live longer. Loneliness seems to be toxic, negatively affecting the happiness and health of people. Even the brain functions seem to decline earlier for lonely people.
- It is not only the number of friends you have or if you are in a committed relationship, but the quality of your close relationships that matters. The 50-degree cholesterol level can help us predict some future conditions, but the useful information to predict how the different men of the research would age was how satisfied they were with their relationships. Those who were most satisfied with their relationships at the age of 50 were healthier later in their 80s.
- Healthy relationships do not just protect our bodies, they protect our minds. A safe and healthy relationship with someone else works protectively when you turn 80.
Find the true TEDx talk about the research below. The speech is in English but you can choose other subtitles if you want to:
Yes I agree. We already knew that! Everyone knows that a good relationship can stand by you when you need it most and help you overcome your problems. In the video, the speaker rightly supports that we have difficulty creating and maintaining meaningful relationships because creating and maintaining a relationship requires a constant effort. Because of our human nature, we want a quick solution, so this effort is tiresome.
I believe that this is, in fact, a small excuse we tell ourselves to hide the main reason. We do not often create relationships because we are afraid. This is the real reason. We’re afraid. Although people are social beings, it seems that the creation of new relationships is a source of potential embarrassment, anxiety, and fear. It seems that the creation of new relationships, for most people, is outside their comfort zone. We rarely feel comfortable meeting new people in our everyday life. So, it makes sense to try to avoid this feeling and avoid meeting new people. But as we have discussed in another article, just will we evolve as people.
So let’s see what we can do.
1. Create New Relationships.
Looking at my life so far, I noticed that I usually met new people when I “had to” do it. At my first day at school, the first day at work, or the first day in a new group of people in general. Does that also apply to you? Have you made new friends, mainly when conditions “forced” you to do it?
This is usually the case. Even Tom Hanks was “forced” to meet his new friend Wilson when he became a castaway!
How strange is the fact that while people are social beings, we seek socialisation rarely because we choose to and usually because we are have to? We will talk to someone we don’t on the bus when we are on a trip but we will not talk to the stranger on the bus that we both get each day to go to work. It’s so scary to talk to anyone when there is no “need” to do it.
Why not get to know someone even if you are not on a trip? Why worry about creating new relationships. We have all seen again and again how important our friends are in our lives. Of course, it is not easy to do this, but it is not that difficult when you understand it!
We do not have to wait for something like that to happen to us! It is absurd not to talk to any new person unless there is no one we know there to talk to. The most beautiful thing on every trip, the thing that I remember the most and will always remember is the people I met and whom I still keep in touch with. Honestly. Perhaps you were lucky too to see this with your own eyes. Yes, of course, on any trip, wherever it may be, you will relax, change scenery, taste different foods and see something new. But it will not be complete unless you meet new people. In the end, what will make you smile for years is the photos with your new friends. What will make you get emotional is the time you say goodbye to them.
2. Invest Your Time In Maintaining Essential Relationships.
Waldinger hopes that people will understand that the usual norm of a good life (wealth, reputation, professional success, etc.) does not bring happiness and health. On the other hand, trying to maintain meaningful and quality relationships with other people is the best investment for your future health and happiness.
Meaningful relations are characterised by:
- mutual appreciation,
Many relationships created through the social media today are ephemeral and you can not rank them in meaningful relationships, the same way you can not rank a toxic marriage or an unreliable friend.
"Good Life Is Built With Good Relationships!"
It Is Worth Trying For A Real Friendship.
Friendship is a gift. The gift of one day. The gift of a smile. The gift of gratitude. The gift of health. The best gift you can give yourself every day! Friendship is invaluable.
Now that you know that is even proven by science what quality relationships offer you, you know what to do. Embrace the fear that every new acquaintance brings to you and take a step closer to your happiness and health! I will do it for sure 🙂!